If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
