i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize