I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Found your dick twin last night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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