We won't sleep together?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
