Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
