i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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