I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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