so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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