Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
