His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The adults are the big ones right?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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