It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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