I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
