Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
