i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
