let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it was like eating out sand paper
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
