Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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