Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
