Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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