he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
