I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
