I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
