She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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