put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
