question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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