Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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