Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
