Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
