Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
