I can't watch pbs sober anymore
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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