i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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