You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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