i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
