its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
