He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
