Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
its liver damage thursday
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
