I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
