So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
