we have officially lost it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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