Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
