He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
