Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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