my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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