my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize