Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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