good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize