I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
