It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he fucked my hip out of place.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
