if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
