I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
