No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
