Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
