oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
