I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
