You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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