WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
