I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
