They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
