idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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