After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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