do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
