He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
