Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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