if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
