Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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