i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
